Can vs Should...

Recently a friend was retelling a story where he quoted his wife saying "can and should are two different things." That statement has so resonated with me.

Especially in the area of taking liberties and personal rights.

I'll explain using "desserts" for my example, though you can insert anything into the equation.

I can have desserts any time all the time if I like. But I am walking a journey, a path that really I mostly should not partake of desserts. I don't desire the calories or the sugar. My body does not need it and I am also walking through this by the Lords leading, so you could say at times dessert might even be sin to me. If when I partake I feel I am compromising something in my heart, then yes it is me sinning.

Now that may seem silly to some I mean seriously Kristen it's only chocolate cake. True.

But many days of chocolate cake have lead me to become something I do not want to be, in the past chocolate cake was my way of comfort, was self medicating. Chocolate cake in and of itself has no power at all over me, it is the reason I need or want the chocolate cake I must be absolutely aware of.

So I must ask the Lord what is the truth in my heart about cake? Do I love it that much? No. Do I need it? No. Is it a stumbler for others around me? Maybe, at times yes. Does it taste awesome amazing? yes. Does the Lord desire me to enjoy food? Yes, of course or He would have made us with out taste buds. Haha.

So my conclusion to all these questions, thoughts, heart stirrings: I can have cake but I should not always have cake.

Now personal rights...

Here is where God has landed my heart concerning personal rights. It is not even an issue of liberal verses conservative. It is an issue of laying down our personal rights. As Paul spoke of so many times. If we can take liberties we also don't always have to.

If the Lord has said to me that He has called me to minister and serve in a certain area then with that He has asked me to surrender some personal rights. It is simple. I lay it down not for law sake, but for serving sake. I have the right to make these choices absolutely, but If I feel I need control over those personal rights above the Lord having control over them, the issue is not about "cake" it is something more all together.

What is my great need to exercise this right? What about laying this right down makes me feel threatened or challenged. Shouldn't it be simple? I love the Lord more. He has asked, that settles it correct?

What if someone else asks? My husband? My Pastor? Another I am in ministry with or respect? Are they as important, are they less important than my personal right? These are the thoughts I ponder with the Lord and in the end between the Lord and my heart, He has settled me on this: the relationship is more important than exercising my personal right.

That settles it for me.

When we can get to a place in our hearts, and please know I am still working to get there, but a place where we truly know it is all the Lords anyways? Then it is easier to let go of things like, our time, our money, our sleep(yes that is a huge one for me), our food, our comforts, our style, our preferences, our gifts etc. None of these things are bad, please hear my heart in this- God certainly does bless us with all of these things and more. But keep them in His perspective and lay them down before Him and you will not feel robbed of any personal right, because you know in surrendering it-

God has our back.

He has our hearts in mind always, always.

He may be asking us to lay something down to assure our hearts, we love Him more.

It's good for me to know. He is better. He is way better than chocolate cake! Haha.

House of Charis

I recently had the blessing of spending the entire weekend with my girl's house, the House of Charis. It is a Christian women's house for college students that our church owns. My daughter Bethany is in her first year as a resident there.

I was so amazed by these young women. And honestly my faith was so stirred by them. They invited me to speak/share and I was so happy to have the opportunity. But I went away from the weekend enriched by them. They taught me. Here are a few ways I was encouraged by this weekend...

Young women truly loving one another.
Young women serving.
Young women worshiping.
Young women giving.
Young women encouraging.
Young women studying.
Young women blessing.
Young women praying.
Young women speaking words of health and life.
Young women laughing.
Young women with joy. Real joy.
Young women sharing.
Young women holding each other up.
Young women journaling.
Young women listening. Intently.
Young women willing to be vulnerable.
Young women seeking Jesus heart.
Young women searching their own hearts.
Young women being sisters.
Young women being friends.
Young women on the verge of becoming.
Young women being accountable.
Young women leaders.
Young women responsible.
Young women of God.

In a house of around 50, maybe 40+ were there with us. And it was beautiful.
These young women are beautiful and this is a powerful work of God.
Where women live in a season of life that is often times demanding, challenging, confusing, tempting, soul searching, these women have chosen to live beautifully in the arms of Charis(GRACE).
Literally in each others arms.
In Jesus arms.

Girls, thank you for sharing this with me.

A Real Marriage.

A few weeks ago I ran across a video series by a pastor in Seattle titled Real Marriage.

I had time and thought why not listen. The title of the first message was "New Marriage, Same Spouse," which really caught my attention. As I listened I was pleasantly surprised by the straight forward talk, honesty, confession, and practical help. Not to mention the biblical based priciples.

The Pastor and his wife take time to share their own mistakes what they have learned and discovered the hard way. I was so encouraged I thought well I can not wait to listen to the next week. My husband and I made a date of it. We cuddled on the couch to hear the second message titled "Friend With Benefits." Again, pleasantly surprised. It was like this message was speaking our language.

Lionel and I married so young, VERY young. One thing we have said all these 23 years is that we are best friends and truly we are. And I have told my friends and kids over and over, many days I do not feel like being a wife, but I ALWAYS feel like being with my best friend. And as we watched the video I found such encouragement by the same message in their marriage. They had struggled to be friends but found their way to friendship thus strengthening their marriage.

Marriage IS friendship! I will share further on that but for now...watch the series.

I am reading the book too! Wonderful insight. More on that to come as well.I am so grateful for sermons and helps with the most basics of necessities in our life that inspire us to victory and that are so contrary to our culture.

God's first words concerning marriage..."It is not good for man to be alone."

I will leave you with this thought.

Blessings!

Hearing from God. Does He provide?

I am writing this quick post as thoughts keep rushing through my brain on a particular topic of making wise decisions with the Lord and specifically concerning His provision.

We live in a community of believers where there are SO many amazing opportunities to do things with the Lord and with the body of Christ. Many. Many. And so many of these are spendy.

So are all of them of the Lord? Sure.

Does God want me to do all of them? Absolutely not.

I've been hearing from a lot of young people lately, oh just do this or just do that, God will provide. Hmm, really? It certainly would feel good to me or my young adult children to get to do every single thing that is in front if us, it would feel great actually. But I am reminded of an old and wise saying "many things are good, but what is Gods best for me?"

My heart was struggling with this, SO I asked the Lord because I wanted to give my own kids wise words from the Lord. And He said to me simply this, every thing I speak to them to do I will provide for, everything they go outside of my plan for them and do on their own will be bondage to them. And then He said this, they can learn these lessons the hard way, or they can learn to hear from me now in all things and avoid a lot of heart ache. Lead them to hear from Me.

Wow. Ok Lord.

He will tell them. Not others. Not even me. And He is teaching them to hear His voice. Amazing. And He has plans for them that sometimes means they miss out on one amazing thing because God is doing other amazing things in their life.

Peace in my heart. It is a yes to God in our heart. Not a blanket yes to every cool thing that comes our way. Some times saying yes to following God means He says NO to some adventures that seem awesome to us. It's because He always has a plan. And if its a true desire of your heart He is saying NO to right now, it will be a matter of trusting Him for that in the future.

CAUTION!!! Do not put your self in the place of the Holy Spirit convincing someone they should do something that God has not spoke to them about. We can not speak for God to lead another only encourage them to seek Him and pray for them to hear.

Also for young people, learn His voice. Listen, take time to pray, learn to make wise decisions with Him, on your own.

Our Pastor Rob Verdeyen shared in his message concerning the apostle Paul's missionary journeys, that Paul had good plans for trips to reach the gentiles, yet they were not God's plans and God worked differently then Paul expected or even desired but every time it was way better(I am summarizing). It's SO good to surrender our own plans. And when we join God in what He is already moving and doing in our life, it is way better than we can even ask or think...Ephesians 3:20.

And this is not about a matter of lacking faith either. It takes as much faith to hear a No from God as it does a Yes. More so in fact because we mostly want to hear a yes. But either way the enemy is trying to thwart God's plans in our life. Satan will lie to you saying of course God wants this for you, why wouldn't He? but God does not call us to places of bondage. Ever.

SO to remain in His obedience and perfect plan, we must hear from Him. And what do we do if we do not hear? We wait. Yes, that's right. Sometimes He makes us wait. I personally know it is during the waiting times in my life that I have drawn into greater intimacy with the Lord. As the Lord revealed this to me He said, Kristen I love the waiting times with you, I love you pressing into Me, so close, waiting your every move for my word, this is how I am growing you Kristen.

I have a dear friend that just went to Israel for the 1st time and LOVED it! She tells me that I will get to go in God's right appointed time for me. I love her for that! I do not feel I am missing out on anything God has for me because I walk with the Lord and He instructs me what to do, where to go, how to spend my money.

And He has provided for everything in my life. Everything. And when I make a mistake, He lets me know and yet I still have the consequences of my actions and some of those have taken time to walk through. Lessons learned.

Does God perform amazing miracles and powerfully supply all our needs? Absolutley. Will He provide for all of our wants and desires? Not necessarily. A wise steward will not put to test the latter. Come to Him on His terms, not your own. Lay down your personal rights and you will be joyfully led by Him, what ever that may look like and where ever.

A good resource: for making wise financial decisions, Dave Ramsey.

Blessings!