House of Charis

I recently had the blessing of spending the entire weekend with my girl's house, the House of Charis. It is a Christian women's house for college students that our church owns. My daughter Bethany is in her first year as a resident there.

I was so amazed by these young women. And honestly my faith was so stirred by them. They invited me to speak/share and I was so happy to have the opportunity. But I went away from the weekend enriched by them. They taught me. Here are a few ways I was encouraged by this weekend...

Young women truly loving one another.
Young women serving.
Young women worshiping.
Young women giving.
Young women encouraging.
Young women studying.
Young women blessing.
Young women praying.
Young women speaking words of health and life.
Young women laughing.
Young women with joy. Real joy.
Young women sharing.
Young women holding each other up.
Young women journaling.
Young women listening. Intently.
Young women willing to be vulnerable.
Young women seeking Jesus heart.
Young women searching their own hearts.
Young women being sisters.
Young women being friends.
Young women on the verge of becoming.
Young women being accountable.
Young women leaders.
Young women responsible.
Young women of God.

In a house of around 50, maybe 40+ were there with us. And it was beautiful.
These young women are beautiful and this is a powerful work of God.
Where women live in a season of life that is often times demanding, challenging, confusing, tempting, soul searching, these women have chosen to live beautifully in the arms of Charis(GRACE).
Literally in each others arms.
In Jesus arms.

Girls, thank you for sharing this with me.

A Real Marriage.

A few weeks ago I ran across a video series by a pastor in Seattle titled Real Marriage.

I had time and thought why not listen. The title of the first message was "New Marriage, Same Spouse," which really caught my attention. As I listened I was pleasantly surprised by the straight forward talk, honesty, confession, and practical help. Not to mention the biblical based priciples.

The Pastor and his wife take time to share their own mistakes what they have learned and discovered the hard way. I was so encouraged I thought well I can not wait to listen to the next week. My husband and I made a date of it. We cuddled on the couch to hear the second message titled "Friend With Benefits." Again, pleasantly surprised. It was like this message was speaking our language.

Lionel and I married so young, VERY young. One thing we have said all these 23 years is that we are best friends and truly we are. And I have told my friends and kids over and over, many days I do not feel like being a wife, but I ALWAYS feel like being with my best friend. And as we watched the video I found such encouragement by the same message in their marriage. They had struggled to be friends but found their way to friendship thus strengthening their marriage.

Marriage IS friendship! I will share further on that but for now...watch the series.

I am reading the book too! Wonderful insight. More on that to come as well.I am so grateful for sermons and helps with the most basics of necessities in our life that inspire us to victory and that are so contrary to our culture.

God's first words concerning marriage..."It is not good for man to be alone."

I will leave you with this thought.

Blessings!

Joy. Comes. Full. Circle.

The sand on my feet. The breeze off the water. The smell of wet clothes, hair and sand wafting. The sounds of God's children singing, praying, crying, and rejoicing. The stirring of Jesus in hearts. Tears streaming down my face. This is the flavor of baptism.Hand and hand believers rush to the waterside with obedience in their hearts and a yes on their face. Loved one bringing loved one to the place of not just knowing Jesus but following Jesus. Ministers there greet, hug, shake hands, strengthen, and serve the brethren in this first step of faith.

I look on as I am overwhelmed by the number of Gods people in full surrender. Yet my heart is full for another reason, a mother's heart spilling over. God is faithful. And He has come thru yet again.

The sight of inexpressible and yet uncontainable joy beaming from my sons face. In the rays of the sunlight reflecting off the water LJ shines brighter for the purity and freedom of the love of Jesus that flows from him.

Ft. Lauderdale, FL Calvary Baptism 4/30/11

Redeemed, restored, renewed.

LJ ministers baptism over and over as the waves break over his knees and the wind carries the sent of salt, he prays and cries and loves strangers now turned friends, brethren, family.

A vision of a few years previous. Much the same circumstance, middle school-ers coming forward, one at a time, LJ's face beaming with joy, the last time I saw him that happy. The last time I saw joy in his eyes and sincere love flowing easily from his face.

Lake Bradley Middle School Camp 8/2008

Now he stands, not stained, not burdened, not shamed, not bitter, but free. In Joy, that has come as God promised on this morning as light has dawned in this end of a darkened sason for him and joy has come on this baptism morning. Full. Circle.

Jesus, thank you.

Curse-ed FEAR!

Not too long ago I literally shouted these words out in tears fist raised to the sky! I had been tossed about in waves of circumstance facilitated by others choices that were absolutely driven from fear.

Its one thing to battle my own fear and I have done so and with great help from the Lord found much victory. But its a totally different animal being caught up in situations that completely and totally fall to another person and the crippling decisions they make handicapped by fear.

Fear is a loose canon and a fickle friend. It can come in many forms. It can appear to be safe preaching the word "caution," it can pretend to be wisdom with it's cohort "worldly advice" and it presumes justice with the falsehood of "community validation." But all of these misguided practices can be dispelled fairly easily when taken to the Word to match against truth.

Many preach that the opposite of fear is faith. But I have come to really believe the opposite of fear is wisdom. As we have studied through the Proverbs as a church this year and seeing wisdom personified my eyes were opened differently to the alternative choices we make that are clearly not wise and surmised that a great deal of those choices are driven by fear. Ignorance at times sure, foolishness at times, a lack of love possibly. But not necessarily a lack of faith. Because we can be fooled to have complete faith in something that is not wisdom at all driven completely out of our own fears and be ruled by it unknowingly.

The question is, what is the source of our wisdom, what is compelling our actions?

As a young believer I had the best intentions serving the Lord. We were young and zealous and evangelizing the world. I was however a very wounded young adult, though I really did not know it and I was driven, absolutely driven to performance based serving. Though I could not have recognized it I was actually driven by fear. I had a heart to serve the Lord sure, but I also had a deep underlying fear that if I did not show up, I may be forgotten, I may not look the part, people may see right through me. My actions were not based in truth though they were even righteous actions.

I had right thinking in serving the Lord, but I had the wrong approach for making the decisions for how and what to serve the Lord in. And at the core of my being I was actually trying to fill some other desperate needs other than a pure love for the God I serve. Oh so convoluted are the ways I operate as a human. Ah!

Yet God has been so kind and gentle in breaking these motives down and bringing truth to my wounded soul. He showed me that my constant need to be "needed" was false and not from Him and was being fed by other deeper hurts of rejection, abuse, abandonment. He reassured me that He would never do all of those things to me even if I never worked at the church or in ministry another day of my life. For what He had given me, I did not have to keep earning. He brought such freedom and peace. He began to teach me to make choices from a healthy knowledge of who He is and who I am in Him. Not driven from any un-health or FEAR.

As far as other people's fears that so effect our lives, well that we can only take to the Lord. But there are times when I am hurt or my children are hurt and it is completely the doing of someones fear and it SO frustrates me not for the person, they need healing, but for the weapon of our enemy that fear is.

Fear is the most subtlety destructive tool our enemy yields against us and is one of the most difficult to detect. FEAR is personified - fear is our enemy! And he wants you to believe that your fears are justified, but please let me tell you unless you are talking about the reverent respect of our Lord, fear is not righteous or just.

The bible tells 365 times NOT to fear. I have heard it said that is one for each day of the year. That's a lot of commanding us not to fear. Do you think God knew it would be such a struggle?

When we radically pursuit intimacy with God, He alone dispels fear. His word and truth are like beautiful fear erasers in the ARTIST hands of God, and He wants to paint in our lives vivid healthy colorful patterns that come from His love and from true and right thinking about Him.

Lionel has always asked the question "what would you do if you were not afraid." God gave me a new question, "what things are you doing right now because you are afraid?" It's something to ponder.

Lord, help me not to be motivated by fear and to quickly see through fear and not be ruled by it or act on it. Amen.

COURAGE.

I am not writing about resolutions this 1^st day of the year, but rather courage!

We can always resolve to do the needful, beautiful, fulfilling, life changing things in our lives. We can and should resolve to do them. But we must have courage to take the necessary and often times bold steps to move forward and actually do them!

I say be courageous this year. Move forward. Boldly go where you have not previously gone before.

Make those difficult choices for getting out of debt!

Join that gym or put that exercise DVD in the shopping cart, go home and start using it.

Shop for your food differently.

Time block.

Get up 30 minutes earlier.

Write something everyday.

Pick up that instrument and just play.

Schedule dates with your family.

Download that read your bible in a year plan.

Make a coffee date with that one person you need to apologize to.

Send out those thank you notes/notes of encouragement.

You know it, just start doing it. You are not stuck.

Have the COURAGE to live. LIVE. Starting today, not the way you always have, but rather the way you have always dreamed of living.

Happy 2011! It’s gonna be a good one!

Perversion of Justice

As I stepped into the courthouse once again I had a shivering feeling that this was not a place meant for justice and righteousness. Oh it is meant to facilitate the law all right, but one walk through the place and you can feel the oppression dripping all over and see the wearisome evidence on people’s faces.

We were not here for ourselves, this time. But unfortunately there had been several events that had lead to us having to come to that room, face those judges, and hear the law administered to suit someone’s reasoning all be it twisted.

Now don’t get me wrong I myself am a law-abiding citizen.

It just so happens that in this day we are in the law is sort of upside down. Our communities teach family and create programs that are meant to correct and facilitate healthy families, yet the law decides every single day things that destroy families and hurt children. That rip families apart. Our community promotes teen sex, abortion and the right to some pretty evil freedoms for our youth, yet in turn decides evil against them when in the court room are being charged for the very acts the community has promoted. Our community teaches that drugs are wrong, substance abuse is harmful and unhealthy, yet the law passes judgment that actually enables and oppresses those caught up in drugs, rather than work towards true healing and freedom. One friend that actually went through teen challenge to get clean and sober and finally held a job for five years ended up arrested and in jail because the law deemed teen challenge a non-approved treatment program, no matter the evident positive changes. Perversion.

Jon Foreman eloquently sings about the perversion we face:

How miserable I am
I feel like a fruitpicker who arrived here
after the harvest
There's nothing here at all
There's nothin at all here that could placate my hunger
The godly people are all gone
There's not one honest soul left alive here on this planet
We're all murders and theives
Setting traps here for even our brothers
And both of our hands
Are equally skilled
At doing evil
Equally skilled
At bribing the judges
Equally skilled
At perverting justice
Both of our hands
Both of our hands
The day of justice comes
And is even now swiftly arriving
Don't trust anyone at all
Not your best friend or even your wife
For the son hates the father
The daughter despises even the mother
Look! Your enemies are right
Right in the room of your very household
And both of their hands are equally skilled
Equally skilled
No, don't gloat over me
For though I fall, though I fall
I will rise again
Though I sit here in darkness
The Lord, the Lord alone
He will be my light

I will be patient as the Lord
Punishes me for the wrongs
I've done against him
After that he'll take my case
Bringing me to light and to justice
For all I have suffered
And both of his hands are equally skilled
At ruining evil
Equally skilled
At judging the judges
Equally skilled
Administring justice
Both of his hands
Both of his hands are equally skilled
At showing them mercy
Equally skilled
At loving the loveless
Equally skilled
Administring justice
Both of his hands
Both of his hands

It is indeed a perverted day in which we live. But we have only to look to the Lord for true justice, and leave the work of administering it to Him.

As for believers He already took our case, and because of what has been accomplished on the cross, we are justified. Amen.

So much can change in a day!

Over the past several years this has been a re-occurring theme in my life.

The Lord impressed on my husbands heart some years back the story in 2 Kings 7. The children of Israel where surrounded by the Aramean army and trapped in their city for weeks. Food was scarce and they feared death but Elisha heard from the Lord, this time tomorrow the prices of food would go down dramatically, there would be abundance. This seemed impossible. People questioned that even God could do such a thing. They did not know however nor could they see that God would confuse the army causing them to flee. And four leapers would discover the provision from the Lord. In one single day their entire circumstances changed.

The thing is we were going through some difficult times financially and personally. And there were many days when fear could have swallowed us whole. No jobs, very little income if any and no resources whatsoever. But the Lord kept reminding us that He was our Father, that He was provider and that He would not fail us. This story became a great reminder and symbolic as we would remind each other over and over, so much can change in a day!

And it often did. God brought provision out of nowhere, He made ways and opened doors that seemed impossible. $400 dollars left at our door step, $1000 brought to the church for us, bills paid, groceries, a weekend get a way, a car, a washing machine, a missions trip for my son and so much more. We had not even told anyone, we only prayed. He was allowing us to go through some difficult times to teach us who He is, His name PROVIDER.

He was teaching us to trust Him even when we can not see the way ourselves. There were days when I could not even breathe because the basic elements of food and shelter seemed out of reach for us or at the very least threatened. Yet God would speak to me to rest in Him and wait on Him. It is impossible to rest when you are consumed with worry. I would ask the Lord, how? How do I rest and wait? And He answered simply, by My Spirit. A new discipline began to develop in my life. I would sit with Jesus until the fear passed. He would not let me go in my quiet time for the day and His peace washed over me. Some days this took minutes and other days hours. Praise the Lord it always came, His peace and rest would enter my soul and fear subsided and I could just wait on Him.

I can not say I would want to go through this season of testing again. But I am so grateful for the greater perspective of God I learned and growing in relationship with Him truly made it worth all the heart ache.

Many days sense then I have faced troubling circumstances and God has given me the grace and peace to say, so much can change in the next day, I will let it roll off on Him that is able to make it change.

Mirror Vulnerability

Vulnerability.

I feel the Lord moving in this area of my life. But more than that stirring in my heart the full weight of mirroring this in our Christian lives to young people, to those that are not saved, to this culture, in which has been said there is zero tolerance for being vulnerable.

This intolerance comes from the breeding of over confidence in the generation of self-help and personal empowerment. It has moved to a survival of the fittest mentality and not learning that failure is natural, but rather that nothing or no one is a failure and that life should be fair and that everyone deserves everything they want. This message has left our young people confused. Feeling internal conflict over what they know is true; that we fail, we are not enough, there must be more, nothing this world has to offer is filling my soul. So instead we have created a society and entire culture built on lies and people dying or dead inside. No wonder so many are on substances to balance out their emotions and mask their feelings.

The brave speak the truth and dare to be vulnerable. Even in the church, vulnerability has been hushed or silenced. Churches that fear not “looking the part” more than bringing healing to hurting lives are stumbling are young people. Are we preaching a relational gospel yet teaching performance based religion?

Religion is hindering this younger generation. And the enemy has come alongside it to offer the best substitute of all, an almost true faith in God. Slightly skewing our children’s perspective of God and how He see’s them is far more damaging than any of Satan’s other tactics. Because as he stumbles them with false religious teachings, he is keeping away 100’s of others from truly knowing God because of seeing the pain and destruction “religion” has left in it’s wake with God’s name attached to it.

We have the assignment of reaching and ministering to a desperate and confused generation that have really lost Hope in everything. But are fearful of speaking the truth. We live in a culture of drugs and antidepressants that have been the numbing of pain and confusion for so many. And how can we blame them, they do not know where to turn to.

Vulnerable. Genuine. Authentic. Real. Our children are desperate to be able to be themselves and yet struggle to know and accept themselves. Is God our condemner? Is he our accuser? No, the word of God is clear, He has not come to condemn but save, it is the goodness of God that draws man, His kindness that leads to repentance.

Are we ashamed to admit we have sinned? Sin is as much a part of our Christian life as forgiveness is. How can we facilitate healing and restoration to sin that has been covered up and hidden. And how will our young people boldly share and confess their struggles unto freedom when they are being chastised for having struggles. And who will speak out that struggle is actually essential to growing and being established in God.

Do we reinforce the worldly philosophies of numbing out rather than honestly working through hard things out in the open. Do we look and act just like the world turning to worldly advice, wisdom, and laws? What makes us different?

Our boys are afraid to be honest about their thought lives. Our girls are scared to share they are starving themselves. Our young adult Christians are scared to say they have had sex. If we cannot talk openly about real heart and hurt issues, then we can never open up to reach a hurting and needy world. And if we are not different then them, masking our pain and hiding sin, then what really are we offering?

Is our God able to bare our sins, the sins of our children? Yes we cannot bare it, but He can. Does He have arms big enough to hold us when we cry, to take the pain away, to heal the wounded-ness, to break through the addictions, to poor in love? Does He? Let’s live it, let us walk in it, let us share it.

I love that Job offered up sin offerings for his children in case during their shared meals and parties together, they had sinned. Job the most righteous father/man in the bible set a good example. He knew that sin was a likely part of life, and yet the most important thing about that was bringing it before the Lord. As I see my own children struggle this comforts me and I pray and ask Jesus for their forgiveness every day. He is the sin offering and covering for them. But like Job, I know they sin before God even when they do not know it.

God has been so faithful to me, to my kids. When things were desperate and hard He said to my mother’s heart, “Kristen, you can not bare it, but I can.” Today someone shared that even without blessings God is faithful. I was struck by that as in times when I could not SEE His hand of favor on us, yet He would say I am still here, I am still God, I still love you all as much as I have ever loved you.

Let us be REAL, for real.

I urge you, ask the Lord to stir your heart and lead you to mirror vulnerability.