Doves Eyes.

You may know the ever popular worshiper Misty Edwards, and if you don't...go right out and get her CD's. One of her songs "Dove's Eyes" has been a particular favorite of mine. Inspired by the passage in Song of Songs 1:15. The depth of this song has long since encouraged my un-distracted devotion to my loving Savior.

But today as I was journal-ing(shouldn't that be a word?) the verse, the Lord prompted me to search for more here. So I grabbed the laptop and fired away on blueletterbible.org.

With much clarity brings new revelation! I was so blessed to find such depth in the reference. Dove's eyes were clarified in several ways to which I have to say, I think it is all of them.

Soft eyes, this one I particularly love, not harsh or mean eyes, soft.
Clear eyes, not dull or clouded but clear, transparent and genuine.
Perfect eyes, eyes marked by the righteousness of Christ.
Healthy eyes, eyes that have been set free, healed, not blurred by pain.
Pure eyes, doves represent purity, guarded eyes kept pure.Loyal eyes, for our Lord first.
And yes un-distracted eyes, eyes that will stay on assignment. I think of the dove sent out by Noah, returning with the olive branch.I do believe as the Beloved spoke of doves eyes, it was a heartfelt appreciation for the beauty within and behind the eyes. A good friend of mine Jane Johnson shares a verse in her life work, Matt, 6:22 the lamp of the body is the eye, therefore if the eye is good the whole body will be full of light. Lovely.

Good eyes, eyes that bring light to our soul. So rich. The new living translation speaks of a pure eye that brings sunshine to the soul. Oh how many days I long for the SON to shine on my soul. Feeling dark, or sinful, guilty, or shamed? Feeling numb, or indifferent, or even bitter or pained? Let you heart sit before the Light of this world, set your heart right before Him and He will speak to you...

My beloved, you are beautiful(handsome)! You have doves eyes.

Let Him shine this light in you. This is His whole heart towards you. He loves you and you are most beautiful to Him.

Vulnerable.

Most of the time I am an open book.

I tell on myself. It is why I love to write and blog. But I have had a hard time sharing recently. As I have started several posts the past week or so and not completed and published any of them I stopped today to ask myself the question, why?

And I had an answer, I just don't have the energy to be that vulnerable right now. Hmm.

See I am walking with the Lord through some very personal things, working had, crazy busy with my teenagers, working hard on my home, finances, taxes, health, disciplines, ministry, SO MUCH! Too much?

Maybe.

Yesterday God told me that I didn't know I would face...fill in the blank; He played a tape in my head of some hard things that I have walked through this past year. And He sweetly said to me, but I did, Kristen. And I have seen you through it.

And today, it is so much, as I journaled again His never ending love for me, His constant care and Heart for me, His attention to detail, His hand of healing, His leading in wisdom, His goodness in my friendships, I am just so UNDONE by Him.

"the King has brought me into His chambers" Song of Songs 1:4

He has invited me in, where it is sacred and intimate, safe and beautiful; in the Lord's inner chambers I feel seen, known, understood, free.

Thank you, Father...just...(whisper) thank you.

Better than wine...

Sometimes I do not know how to tell my story because it is still unfolding.

I think of my life as not having a beginning or an end but as a constant and ever changing circle. Like the earth spinning round and round, some times in the brightness of the sun, other times in the darkness of night, that is me and that is what healing is like.

So much has happened in my heart, to tell it all would mean that I understood it all, and I don’t and there is still so much to be discovered. But as I move through each day there are these glimpses, you know these tiny moments when I am on the outside looking in getting a God size perspective of what He is doing in me and I am so undone. Because He loves me, oh how he loves me, can you hear that song playing in your head...I can.

I am journal-ing Song of Solomon, as a prayer to God. A friend recommended it to me. As I am His beloved and He is mine. I am on verse two and this is my response back to my Lord, my Love today:

Nothing is more valuable than Your love. Nothing is more precious, more costly, more fragrant and more tasty. You grow this love in me that is You. You planted Your love in my heart like a seed that is planted and grows to a vine. Your love blossoms in my heart and bears fruit like luscious grapes in the vineyard full of juice and ripe from the sun. Your love brings the fullness of satisfaction to my soul like the fullness of flavor in a timely opened luxurious wine, pleasant, earthy, warm, delicate, and fragrant.

Your love is better than wine.

He loves you too, tell Him today, that you love Him back,

this do in rememberance of Me

The Healing arts: Communion

I am always amazed at the different ways I find God knows me, really knows me.

As I walk through this path of letting God heal my heart and life, there are these moments, I call them milestones, that God uses to set apart a truth, lesson, victory, or even correction. These milestones are like burned images in mind, tattoos so to speak, they are permanent.

This past week the bread and the cup have become just that. As I have been walking with Jesus through my day and really stumbling more than walking, but trying to keep my aligned "upward" balance with focus on Him, I heard the Lord ask me to pause and consider the bread and the cup.

Stop what you are doing right now Kristen. Don't miss this because I have something big for you.

My ears and spiritual eyes WIDE, I took stock of my actions and my thoughts, heart, posture towards God as I was about to partake of the elements. And then I was reminded of a principle I heard just the day before riding in the car, the speaker said we need tangible actions to match a spiritual directive in our life.

Hmm, intersting, the dots began to connect, hang in here with me, they will for you too.

Backing up a little, see I have purposed to all day everyday walk moment by moment with Jesus, living by His permission. Even for the simplest things. Because I have learned, I can not do this life even fifteen minutes of it on my own, or at least I don't want to because I tend to make a mess of things, then I am running to Jesus crying my eyes out asking Him to fix things. But instead my desire is to rely more and more on Him to keep me from those messes and mistakes.

So back to the bread and the cup. I clued in to what God was showing me. Every time I go to partake of the elements I truly ackowledge Jesus, I genuinely asses my sin, my motives, my heart, my attitudes. I wouldn't dare go forward drink the juice, eat the bread, pray the prayer with out having my heart rightly aligned with Him.

Ok, really getting it now Jesus.

And He in all His glorious knowledge of me, knew that I would need this tangible illustration to show me what He is asking me to do every day, on a moment by moment basis, genuinely before Him, keep the open heart and spirit, not allowing sin, temptations, busyness, life get in the way of that and thus allow my heart to shut down from Him.

It is the same action as if I were all day long going to partake of the bread and the cup, I am partaking of Jesus, over and over again spiritually, remembering to...remember Him in every aspect of my day. Keeping short accounts, taking every thought captive, letting Him guide me to do the God things rather than just good things. My dear friend Cindy calls this her dance with Jesus, or the fifteen minute plan, and I have to say she is the one who has inspired this in my life.

To practice the discipline of allowing my heart to be held captive by His Love, rather than be taken captive by anything else, is just truly walking free.

I am asking Jesus, to help me walk free, He is showing me how to do just that.