A wave come over me and swallowed my joy, my peace.
Tears welled up.
Why had I lost so my much time?!
I felt the anger too.
Truth is I know I am healed today.
I am strong and vibrant and loving and full of life.
I am a better version of myself.
And I felt indignation over the contrast of my former self.
What had been stolen from me, robbed, destroyed was not only my innocence but for many years the person I would have become had been taken too.
I cried.
I wept over the loss of that person.
And I let myself grieve for the moment.
I let the fullness of the pain seep deep into my soul.
Stillness.
I look up.
A posture to force my inner eyes to look up as well.
He is there, of course he is there waiting.
And my heart lifts as I search the face of Jesus.
And I don't feel but I know somehow that He caresses me.
I know that He takes my heart in His hands and says it is ok.
I know that His dying love for me has let me see what He has done for me today.
And I know it is enough.
I am enough.
I am who He has made me to be today.
I let my heart turn to gratefulness.
I let my grief be shifted by His grace.
I let Him love me.
I love Him.
I am the miracle.
No more time lost.
